Attention!! The Beer Is Safe!! Attention!!

When the story broke a few months ago about the tampering with Stella Artois bottles two things came to mind right away. First was - why would someone spike bottles of beer randomly? The second was - wow! That's really going to affect those two old french codgers in Chicoutimi who actually drink Stella. Now see story below.


Brewer gets to bottom of tainted beer problem
CanWest News Service
TORONTO -- Labatt Breweries said Thursday they have discovered how some Stella Artois beer bottles, sold at Canadian bars earlier this summer, were filled with concentrated alcohol.
An investigation determined the affected bottles were intended for display purposes only and had been filled with concentrated alcohol as a replacement liquid, the brewer said in a prepared statement.
In July the Canadian Food Inspection Agency (CFIA) and Labatt warned the public about the problem.
The CFIA was advised of six bottles suspected of being tampered with in which concentrated alcohol was put into 330 ml Stella Artois beer bottles.
These incidents occurred with beer sold at restaurants and bars in Toronto and Kamloops, B.C.
"It appears that in a few isolated incidents, a bottle was removed from a display, and then later inadvertently placed into the bar fridge and subsequently provided to a customer," the company said in a prepared statement. "The investigation clearly showed that the incidents were accidental and there was no intent to harm consumers in any way."
The brewer said it has undertaken two comprehensive reviews to identify and retrieve bottles associated with the displays.
Labatt has also implemented strict, new control procedures related to marketing displays.

© CanWest News Service 2007

OK, so my first question was answered. But more are created. Replacement liquid? why wouldn't you just put regular bottles out there for display. Was the concentrated alcohol way cheaper than beer? And why would a bar owner - any bar owner - not be expected to try and sell something that was given to him for free? I guess all the bad press dooms us to a couple more years of those retarded 'artsy' Stella ads on television to build the consumer base back up after this fiasco. I can't imagine the relief in Chicoutimi tonight.

Killer Riffs, Rolled Up Cuffs And Beer That Tastes Like Crematory Ashes.

A buddy of mine put me onto a band he knew a few months ago. These guys are a Psychobilly (rockabilly songwriting with Misfits/ghoulish lyrics and themes)band from Victoria called the Switchblade Valentines. I checked out their Myspace page and found that the music was good and the production was great for an independent.
Later I find out they are doing a Canadian tour and would be coming to Montreal in September. Great. I set about getting more info on the band and the whole sub - culture. Found an old web site for the band that had the whole first album online for listening. Fun stuff. Digging into Psycho leads me to find out that Montreal, Calgary, and southern BC seem to be the hotbeds for this retro fitted, hot rod loving, roller derby obsessed, but otherwise harmless lifestyle. I won't call it a fad. There have always been billy scenes in every city. The ones today are just a little more jaded with punk backgrounds.
The show is at a small bar on St. Laurent & St. Catherine. Good size crowd out front smoking. Five clams to get in and stamped. The bar is set up like an older apartment. Open area with the bar in front, long hallway to the back, and another open space in the back where the stage is. More ink in here than at the Globe & Mail. The smell of denim and leather hits me in the face the way smoke used to. With the people outside the crowd seems to be about sixty deep. Best that can be expected for a Tuesday night. I had a couple of drinks and six or seven beer before leaving home so I'm glowing. Pitchers are $9 and come with four shots. We take Apple Jacks.
The band hits the stage with a fury that flattens the twenty odd people who make their way to the back to check out the music. First song, broken strings, knocked over drum kit and I know I'm definitely gonna need more beer. My buddy motions me to the bar. We knock the shots and chase with the beer while returning to the action. Somethings not right the beer goes down like one of those halfers you grab on Sunday morning only to discover there are two smokes inside. At first I figure its just the taste of the Apple Jacks fuckin with the taste of the micro brew. Nah the beer is really off.

This bunch of guys really kicks ass. I have never seen a drummer play standing up like that before. Well I have, but not while playing this fast. Too bad most of the crowd left when they started playing. Only about thirty people left in the whole place. Its the 25th of September, and we had an unusually hot day. The walls are melting in this little space and the singer isn't far behind. The boys are going breakneck now just trying to finish the set. They blaze through the last tune and run for smokes outside. I intercept the guitar player and chat for a minute ( he's from Hartland, down home, and a buddy told me to make sure to say Hi) and then make my way out and to the metro.
Good energy from the music and the crowd. Gonna make sure to check out more of the Psycho scene. Feel free to go check out the Switchblade Valentines at:
http://www.myspace.com/theswitchbladevalentines
and feel even freer to go check out any and all unsigned independent bands coming through your town. They are just hard working people like you and me that spend their vacations draggin' it across country to bring you the rock.

The Long %@&# Of The Law

I know this motif is tired , but go check this out and come back.

http://www.team4news.com/Global/story.asp?S=7007931


Now I don't know how things happen in your two or even three hot dog stand towns that you come from, but how did a story like this slide by in early September with no one asking all the obvious questions? I searched for a couple of weeks for follow up stories, then finally the other day, I found this.


Accused Texas Police Chief Is Fired
11 Sep 22, 2007 6:02 AM days ago)
AP
ALTON, Texas (Map, News) - The police chief in this southern Texas town has been fired weeks after he was accused of sexually assaulting two male employees.
Jose Luis Vela was suspended after his Aug 29. arrest on two charges of sexual assault. Three more current and former police department employees have since accused Vela of sexual harassment.
City Manager Jorge Arcaute fired Vela Friday for poor record keeping and possible theft of confiscated items. He said allegations surfaced accusing Vela of stealing alcohol confiscated by his department.
Vela said he never took confiscated beer, nor was he involved in logging items. He is out on bail and plans to plead not guilty to the charges.
Investigators have accused Vela of performing oral sex on a male employee after the man passed out drunk at a party about a year ago at Vela's home in Mission, according to court documents. Vela is also accused of violating a different male employee with an object while that man was passed out at a party in July, Sheriff Lupe Trevino said.
Alton is a town of about 4,400 residents, located 10 miles north of the Mexican border in the Rio Grande Valley.
Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Now on a further 10 second Google search of our dear sheriffs name this was produced.

http://www.tdi.state.tx.us/fraud/frpress.html
Texas Department of Insurance Issues Top Ten Fraud List
April 18, 2006

9. Jose Vega, a former Texas Peace Officer, filed a claim with his insurer for $7,790.50 in items stolen during a burglary of his residence. The burglary never happened and the items were not stolen. Vega received five years deferred adjudication, was ordered to complete 260 hours of community service, and was ordered to pay $7,790.50 in restitution. In addition Vega was ordered to surrender his peace officer license to the Texas Commission on Law Enforcement Officer Standards and Education.

So this guy, who had already lost his cushy state job, and was relegated to a two burro border town, likes to blow off some steam by getting drunk on Friday night and throw the lubbin'into his passed out deputies. Questions??? Damn right.

1) While these yahoos are partying and getting their freak on, how many people can be manning the fort in a town of 4,000
2) How many boxes of cracker jacks did this man have to buy to get another badge?
3) How exactly did it come up in casual office conversation that you had passed out and woke up with your boss wiping your goo off his chin. "Oh yeah? Me too!!".
4) Why didn't he just go and hang out at rest stops or airport washrooms like any normal, upstanding american.

So remember the next time your boss invites you over to his place for a party on Friday night, launch into your best crotch scratching fit and and tell him you would if you weren't dealing with alot of leakage from your burning haemorrhoids.

How I Had My Face Blown Off While I Wasn't Looking

Went to see a show last Saturday night. I knew the bands stuff, have a few tunes on my pod, but the whole time leading up to the show, I was thinking i'd be more stoked if I was going to see Dinosaur Jr. tonight. Well you know what? Ween totally blew me away. The heavy rythm section reworking of thier songs for the stage is Dylanesque in its proportions. They blew my face off, drenched me in guava sweat and the volume left my ribs feeling like I had done 30 situps ( yeah, yeah , i know big deal? Make it 75 for you OK?). Bottom line was, over two hours of music and only two songs from Choclate and Cheese. Now if a band had an album with four or five singles 10 classics, should be a shoe in to hear them right - wrong. The whole show was an exhibition of how they could fuck with our heads and play nothing we were expecting but making us love them for it. The more people called out for Buenos Tardes Amigos, the louder and farther away from anything acoustic and soothing they got. Did I think a couple of old dudes could pull off an evening of music with no opening acts? No. Did they? Hell yeah. They would have embarrassed any group of young bucks stupid enough to challenge them. Do I think Dinosaur Jr might have been a better show? Maybe. Did I make the right choice? definitely. J Mascis is a virtuoso and the whole world expects to be put into awe by him every night. I didnt have any expectations of two thirty something stoner kids who grew up inhaling helium and trying to dryhump a casio. Now I do.

Punch a Drunk, Love!

Go read this :
http://www.canada.com/montrealgazette/news/story.html?id=e7b802fa-65cc-42f4-a854-7baf35d553e6&k=80899

Now think about it for a minute.
Six prior convictions. Six. What does he win if he gets to ten? A free wine cellar? A fully furnished loft upstairs from his favorite bar? This is totally unacceptable.
Two or three months ago there was a story in the Journal de Montreal about a man who had been caught for the ninth time. All the old french guys I have coffee with each morning were laughing and joking about it. THIS is totally unacceptable.
Lets just put things in perspective here. This man lives in a city where he can come home from work, pick up his phone, call his corner depanneur and have beer, wine, whatever delivered right to his door, no strike that, if he leaves the door open,delivered right to his Lazyboy. And they will take any empties as thier tip or to cover part of the bill. And yet there are still thosands of yahoos who endanger themselves and others everyday.
There has to be a way to get through to the younger generation so that the cycle of foolishness ends. What would it take? A family tragedy? Nope. I recently had a former co- worker and her father land at the bar I work at in grief because they had lost a sister/daughter to a drunk driving incident.They stayed , and drank, for a few hours before leaving seperately, in thier own rides. Now they weren't drunk. But they had been drinking.
I am by no means judging people who drink. I'm an All- Star myself. But long, long ago I realized this and got rid of my car. More and more drinkers will get the point. As long as the government wakes up and makes them responsible for the act. Not just when the act kills.

Puffy and Fluffy

"Blue skies, nothing but blue skies, from now on..."

Damn straight Willie.

Today was a spectacular day.Even though we may as yet get another shot of flurries,Spring was made itself known today.Plus it put a push into your slightly sickly narrator.A well deserved day-off,and the most was made of it.Up by seven thirty and running to empty the cabana before the garbage trucks passed.Then off to the markets and home by nine to make breakfast.

The highlight of the day was working in the yard.Staring to get stuff ready to retop and reseed my lawn this year, so the earlier its level the earlier it will be emerald.Alot of people are afraid of the fresh air if they have a cold,but it's a long held Maritime secret that if a retard has a cold you'll probably find him out icefishing or harvesting icicles topless.

Then i looked up.That was my real confirmation that Spring had sprung.The usual winter cummulus clouds were gone replaced by some nice cirrus swirls nimbus after some high altitude stratus action in the morning.Its really hard to get good photos of stratus structures because they are so thin and high that digital zoom distorts them too much while optical zoom cant define them well.Thats why a good batch of cirrus,or cirrus nimbus are great.Not too low so you cant catch details and just dark enough that the contrast with the background.And lots of swirls.

Not much going yet this year for sunset pics but I'm thinking if my cold is gone by next Tuesday I might take the ol'tripod down to Lasalle Boulevard by Herron Island and get some sunrise shots over the south shore,weather permitting.Both times I wanted to do this last year, I din't check the forecast and awoke to rain.

Still gonna have to wait and see about wether it was a good idea to spend part of the day outdoors or not, but even if I get sicker it was worth it to hang out in my own space with my best buddy and some clouds and birds and a squirrel and an inflatable frog,the cats living in the crawlspace under the house,the garbage men in the alley and some crazy, crazy clouds.

The Joys of Language.

Monday was a very relaxed day here in the Bell Province.The provincial election was on so there was no school, everyone was cutting work early, and it was generally a slow Monday.So to help kill time and begin to start helping them with their language skills,I decided to spend the day teaching some English to two of my co-workers.Both are new in Canada.Nur hails from Kyrgistan and Sizwed'lhami is from Swaziland.Don't worry I cant say it either.I just call him Sizzle.He's 18 and he's going to be a Hip Hop star and have all the womens in Canada after him.Sure he is.Soooo...as one of my first lessons I chose to work with education through music.No problem.Nixed the idea of starting with the national anthem.Happy birthday cruised by very quickly.Then for something a little more complex,New York,New York.Again painless and it was easy to tell that they were not only picking up the words ,but their relation to one another.So I chose to teach them the chorus to one of my favorite songs- Born With A Tail by the Supersuckers.Great little ditty,and it has a call and return pattern.Perfect for learning as a small group.Lyrics are as follows......

You Know! I'm in league with Satan
You Know!There is no debatin'
My Hellbound Trail
I was Born With a Tail !

Yahoo!Did that get yer blood up?Got me going.Nothing like a little fist pounding rock n roll to knock the corners off a day!Anyway, right from the get go big problems.Had to go to my dry erase grocery list board and start by explaining the difference between know and no,why we shorten words like debating, etc.Long story short after three or four brutal, stop/start, caterwauling renditions I can see by the glazed look that these two guys are just totally lost.They understand most of the words but they just cant piece them together in their heads.So I freeze for a moment and think,what would a teacher do?O.K. after excusing himself,running to the washrooms and sneaking a drink,what would a teacher do?I grasp at straws. "Any questions? ".The Russian guy wants to know why someone would want to play hockey with Father Christmas,Sizzle asks if his Mother is going to find out he was speaking of the Devil,and I decide that maybe its time to end the lesson for today.We work in silence for the last hour or so only chancing side to side darting glances at one another.By four pm., two of us were leaving and on the way to the bus I apologized to Nur if I confused him.He said "Don't worry.Many things are odd here.Why do I make the same sandwich for two hours on Friday?".Well Nur this is the joy of Language " One club,one club for two,one smoke meat,two more clubs,one no tomato,one extra cheese both with salad instead of fries,one no dressing,one fish and chip with a club ,brown bread....".