How I Had My Face Blown Off While I Wasn't Looking

Went to see a show last Saturday night. I knew the bands stuff, have a few tunes on my pod, but the whole time leading up to the show, I was thinking i'd be more stoked if I was going to see Dinosaur Jr. tonight. Well you know what? Ween totally blew me away. The heavy rythm section reworking of thier songs for the stage is Dylanesque in its proportions. They blew my face off, drenched me in guava sweat and the volume left my ribs feeling like I had done 30 situps ( yeah, yeah , i know big deal? Make it 75 for you OK?). Bottom line was, over two hours of music and only two songs from Choclate and Cheese. Now if a band had an album with four or five singles 10 classics, should be a shoe in to hear them right - wrong. The whole show was an exhibition of how they could fuck with our heads and play nothing we were expecting but making us love them for it. The more people called out for Buenos Tardes Amigos, the louder and farther away from anything acoustic and soothing they got. Did I think a couple of old dudes could pull off an evening of music with no opening acts? No. Did they? Hell yeah. They would have embarrassed any group of young bucks stupid enough to challenge them. Do I think Dinosaur Jr might have been a better show? Maybe. Did I make the right choice? definitely. J Mascis is a virtuoso and the whole world expects to be put into awe by him every night. I didnt have any expectations of two thirty something stoner kids who grew up inhaling helium and trying to dryhump a casio. Now I do.

Punch a Drunk, Love!

Go read this :
http://www.canada.com/montrealgazette/news/story.html?id=e7b802fa-65cc-42f4-a854-7baf35d553e6&k=80899

Now think about it for a minute.
Six prior convictions. Six. What does he win if he gets to ten? A free wine cellar? A fully furnished loft upstairs from his favorite bar? This is totally unacceptable.
Two or three months ago there was a story in the Journal de Montreal about a man who had been caught for the ninth time. All the old french guys I have coffee with each morning were laughing and joking about it. THIS is totally unacceptable.
Lets just put things in perspective here. This man lives in a city where he can come home from work, pick up his phone, call his corner depanneur and have beer, wine, whatever delivered right to his door, no strike that, if he leaves the door open,delivered right to his Lazyboy. And they will take any empties as thier tip or to cover part of the bill. And yet there are still thosands of yahoos who endanger themselves and others everyday.
There has to be a way to get through to the younger generation so that the cycle of foolishness ends. What would it take? A family tragedy? Nope. I recently had a former co- worker and her father land at the bar I work at in grief because they had lost a sister/daughter to a drunk driving incident.They stayed , and drank, for a few hours before leaving seperately, in thier own rides. Now they weren't drunk. But they had been drinking.
I am by no means judging people who drink. I'm an All- Star myself. But long, long ago I realized this and got rid of my car. More and more drinkers will get the point. As long as the government wakes up and makes them responsible for the act. Not just when the act kills.

Puffy and Fluffy

"Blue skies, nothing but blue skies, from now on..."

Damn straight Willie.

Today was a spectacular day.Even though we may as yet get another shot of flurries,Spring was made itself known today.Plus it put a push into your slightly sickly narrator.A well deserved day-off,and the most was made of it.Up by seven thirty and running to empty the cabana before the garbage trucks passed.Then off to the markets and home by nine to make breakfast.

The highlight of the day was working in the yard.Staring to get stuff ready to retop and reseed my lawn this year, so the earlier its level the earlier it will be emerald.Alot of people are afraid of the fresh air if they have a cold,but it's a long held Maritime secret that if a retard has a cold you'll probably find him out icefishing or harvesting icicles topless.

Then i looked up.That was my real confirmation that Spring had sprung.The usual winter cummulus clouds were gone replaced by some nice cirrus swirls nimbus after some high altitude stratus action in the morning.Its really hard to get good photos of stratus structures because they are so thin and high that digital zoom distorts them too much while optical zoom cant define them well.Thats why a good batch of cirrus,or cirrus nimbus are great.Not too low so you cant catch details and just dark enough that the contrast with the background.And lots of swirls.

Not much going yet this year for sunset pics but I'm thinking if my cold is gone by next Tuesday I might take the ol'tripod down to Lasalle Boulevard by Herron Island and get some sunrise shots over the south shore,weather permitting.Both times I wanted to do this last year, I din't check the forecast and awoke to rain.

Still gonna have to wait and see about wether it was a good idea to spend part of the day outdoors or not, but even if I get sicker it was worth it to hang out in my own space with my best buddy and some clouds and birds and a squirrel and an inflatable frog,the cats living in the crawlspace under the house,the garbage men in the alley and some crazy, crazy clouds.

The Joys of Language.

Monday was a very relaxed day here in the Bell Province.The provincial election was on so there was no school, everyone was cutting work early, and it was generally a slow Monday.So to help kill time and begin to start helping them with their language skills,I decided to spend the day teaching some English to two of my co-workers.Both are new in Canada.Nur hails from Kyrgistan and Sizwed'lhami is from Swaziland.Don't worry I cant say it either.I just call him Sizzle.He's 18 and he's going to be a Hip Hop star and have all the womens in Canada after him.Sure he is.Soooo...as one of my first lessons I chose to work with education through music.No problem.Nixed the idea of starting with the national anthem.Happy birthday cruised by very quickly.Then for something a little more complex,New York,New York.Again painless and it was easy to tell that they were not only picking up the words ,but their relation to one another.So I chose to teach them the chorus to one of my favorite songs- Born With A Tail by the Supersuckers.Great little ditty,and it has a call and return pattern.Perfect for learning as a small group.Lyrics are as follows......

You Know! I'm in league with Satan
You Know!There is no debatin'
My Hellbound Trail
I was Born With a Tail !

Yahoo!Did that get yer blood up?Got me going.Nothing like a little fist pounding rock n roll to knock the corners off a day!Anyway, right from the get go big problems.Had to go to my dry erase grocery list board and start by explaining the difference between know and no,why we shorten words like debating, etc.Long story short after three or four brutal, stop/start, caterwauling renditions I can see by the glazed look that these two guys are just totally lost.They understand most of the words but they just cant piece them together in their heads.So I freeze for a moment and think,what would a teacher do?O.K. after excusing himself,running to the washrooms and sneaking a drink,what would a teacher do?I grasp at straws. "Any questions? ".The Russian guy wants to know why someone would want to play hockey with Father Christmas,Sizzle asks if his Mother is going to find out he was speaking of the Devil,and I decide that maybe its time to end the lesson for today.We work in silence for the last hour or so only chancing side to side darting glances at one another.By four pm., two of us were leaving and on the way to the bus I apologized to Nur if I confused him.He said "Don't worry.Many things are odd here.Why do I make the same sandwich for two hours on Friday?".Well Nur this is the joy of Language " One club,one club for two,one smoke meat,two more clubs,one no tomato,one extra cheese both with salad instead of fries,one no dressing,one fish and chip with a club ,brown bread....".

The New NHL

Alot of oldtimers have been burning on the state of hockey all year long.I've done it myself.But,I gotta tell ya,watching stretch games over the last two weeks,its back and more alive than ever(unless you live in Edmonton or Philly- R.I.P. boys).I haven't been checking out Habs games per say but if you are watching ( or listening ) to games from Tampa,Buffalo,New York and even Nashville-the fans are loud and proud.REAL LOUD!Too bad a good playoff fight is being marred by fighting and highsticking.Both the Chris Simon incident and the Fedoruk punch(you couldn't really call that a fight)were notably followed by very long silences.People are not paying $100 and up to watch some EMTs carry a gorilla off the ice.They can go see it for free on Saturday afternoons when the Freeman brothers get ripped while fishing on Lake Champlain and fall in the hole.The good thing is the game looks like it has made it through the strike era and come out fully intact.Long live the good ol hockey game.
P.S. Montreal are still going to miss the Playoffs.
P.S.S. Go ISLES!!!

Where is the Liberal Party Going or How I Learned to Smell the Pain Fouré

At first it seemed a coincidence to me that the federal Liberal party picked a Quebecoise leader when the Tories seem to be riding their best head of steam in 20 years.Then I thought about it.TRUDEAU.clark.MULROONEY.campbell.CHRETIEN.MARTIN.sharkeyes.Four of the last seven Primeministers hailed from Quebec.And DION is coming.The youth of Quebec love this guy.Within four months of taking the reigns of the party,Marc St Maurice-leader of the Bloc Pot,has defected to the federal Liberals and now Justin is headed to Ottawa.But if the Liberals are all hopped up with french MPs,and the Blocs sitting members are obviously french,who is the joke on?Quebec rails against the federal government,who smiles and says'absolument'.
But its easier to deal with than the provincial situation.The Liberals haven't really done anything wrong,but they are not doing much.I'm thinking of campaigning to get another canidate on the bill.A man we can all understand and relate to,and whose motives are an open book.There is only one man in Quebec who will always tell the truth even if no one is listening .Thats right.Johnny Boy! from Tetes a Claques.You've never seen him,but Charest hasn't ben Mr Red Carpet either.And tell me,who would make a better first lady in Quebec than la Belle Cecille?

Shake The Winter Blues And Paint The Town Green!

Yes,that precious time of year is upon us.St Paddys Day looms and like most years people are like"I'm gonna go to the parade and see what happens from there...".Error!Dont go out without a specified plan.Dont go out without a map.Dont go out without a buddy(not so much for if you run into trouble,but in case you run out of $$$).And most importanntly dont go out without having a rudimentary knoledge of what is actually in some of those special drinks that are advertised on table top promos.

The first culprit is always the famous Irish Kiss.Fairly straightforward.1 1/2 oz. Bushmills,1oz.Peach Schnapps,2oz.OJ,and 5oz. of gingerale.Not too overpowering but the OJ might not mix with the beer.Usually priced pretty good.Keeps the ladies occupied so you can get some pints down.

Next a sweet temptress I met a couple of years ago.The lady is called Irish eyes.1 oz.of Kilbeggan(or any Irish Whiskey) 1/4 oz. of green creme de menthe,2 oz. of heavy cream.Shake with ice and strain.Good sitting around with the family or friends the night before drink.

Then we'll get around to the real drinks boyo.A Dublin Handshake combines 1/2 oz. of Baileys,1/2 oz.of Irish Whiskey and 3/4 oz.of Sloe Gin.Go slow or they seem more like a backhand to the head.And...they definitley hurt a bit the next day.

In the freaky department,I present the Green Monster.Get ready for this 1 1/2 oz.each of Cointreau,Melon Liquer,Peach Shnapps,Southern Comfort and Vodka.add a 1/2 pint each of Beer and Apple Juice.I know,it sounds like a projectile recipe that would cover the real Green Monster at Fenway.If anyone makes it out the other side,let me know.This recipe fits pretty good in a Big Gulp cup for the parade.

As far as sophisticated drinks í've found this jem For a Chilly Irishman you will need:1 scoop of ice cream, 1/2 oz.each of Baileys and Coffee Liqueur,1 oz.Irish Whiskey,1 dash of sugar syrop and 3 oz.of cold Espresso.Pour in blender over 4 cups of ice and make party!This is a showoff piece and you are not likely to find this in bars.Mucho impressive for a small get together after the parade.

Lastly my favorite.I was introduced to this drink by the burley men of the Montreal Erin Club Rugby Team.This is for real drinkers.Combine 1 oz. of Baileys,1 oz of Jameson in a beer glass.Now fill it up with Guiness.Stir,and dump it down in 2 or 3 shots.No pussy sipping.You have just had your first Irish Car Bomb.Not for the feint of heart or any one wearing nice clothes.Also real easy to explain to a bartender.If you are sober.Order this while already drunk and you'll get tossed out.Trust me.
The most important thing to remember during your St. Patricks Day revelries is the Maritime drinking credo.'Licker to Beer ,yer in the clear,Beer to Licker,ya never been sicker'.Start out with the hard stuff and finish with the beer.Only go serious boozing with people you know well,and for Gods sake,if Erin goes Bra-less dont tell everyone at work on Monday morning.Save it for blackmail later.
Happy St. Paddy's everyone.If you find some other nice drinks send them to my email above.